Yeehaw! Well how ya doin’ partner? I was just up at the ranch with ol’ Bessy. She’s havin’ a rough ol’ time, ya know. And well who do’ya got here? Don’t tell me your little Jimminy cricket now? You sure have grown! Why I haven’t seen you since you was knee high to a grasshopper! That sure has buttered my grits! Why don’t yall come on up for some sweet tea and small talk.
…
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Do you really think that’s what really goes down in the South?
Not a chance bubba
Here are ten missed conceptions about the South
Let’s face it. Everyone in their life at some point has or will have tried to speak in a southern accent. and let’s face it. If you’re not from the south, you probably failed miserably. It’s the Australian accent of America. You can’t do it unless you grew up with it.
If you grew up in the south, most likely you will grow up and live in the south. Why is that? Well number one, until the rest of the country learns that sweet tea is the nectar of the human race and start carrying it in restaurants and grocery stores, we’re gonna stay right here away from yall’s nasty “iced tea”. Number two, if you were raised right, no self-respecting southerner will want to be more than a day’s drive away from their mama. But most importantly, its because of the prejudice against the southern accent. If you walk into an interview in New York and speak in a southern accent, even if you have the perfect resume for the job, you won’t get it. Why? Because the general population associates a southern accent with somebody that doesn’t know left from right. One “yall” comes out of your mouth and you’re in for it.
Let’s get one thing straight about “ya’ll” now. YALL IS NOT SLANG Yall is a contraction of “you all”. It has the same type of credibility as “would’ve” or “isn’t” or “you’re”.
One more thing before I move on. Yes, southerners do speak in metaphors and sayings. No, not everything that we say is a riddle that people need to unwrap the meaning of.
Doesn’t even the word look yummy! Grits. It’s the southern version of oatmeal. You can eat it plain, with butter, with sugar, with cheese, or with any other kind of topping that you want.
And just like grits, southern food comes in a variety of forms
We have ribs. We also have salads. We have chess squares. We also have gluten free foods. We have collared greens. We also have very normal green beans.
The south has all of the foods that the rest of the country has. We also have taken them, modified them, and made them taste entirely different than before.
And yes. We love casseroles. 6/10 times if you go to the south and get a home cooked meal it will be a casserole. And we don’t mind on bit.
- Country roads…Take Me Home
Let’s just make this short and sweet. Most southerners do. not. like. country. music. I come from a town that’s less than an hour away from Nashville, Tennessee…the literal heart of country music…and I can not stand it. Now there are some exceptions, but the general population would rather make fun of country music than actually sing along with it. Take the title of this section for example. In my high school, full of Gen Z’ers mind you, have literally made that song into the biggest meme on the planet. Someone will start singing it, and everyone in the vicinity around them will start singing it too in the awfullest mockery of the southern accent as possible. So in conclusion, if you go to the south, 90% of the time the store or restaurant you go in…won’t play country music. You’re safe.
One of the things that define “the South” is the fact that most of us are Bible carrying bilbos that are against anything that isn’t in the Bible.
Like…literally…no place in the world is entirely one religion…
Now sure, there are a whole bunch of churches and people will always say “Good Lord” when startled, but I can not count the number of other religions that are in the South.
This is just one thing that you have to see for yourself to figure out.
If there is something that proceeds the south more than our accent and food, its our hospitality. You and a stranger are walking towards a door? The person in front will always hold open the door. You’re an elderly person or a disabled person? We will always let you go first or serve you. If you are younger than someone, most likely we will call you sir or ma’am.
However, if you cross a southerner…
Boom. All sense of hospitality gone.
Let me give yall a little history lesson. Back in the day when it took weeks to travel to some place and a lot of families had large farms and houses in the middle, family and good friends would stay at family and good friends’ houses when travelling. When this happened, the woman of the house would put a pineapple on the mantel above the fireplace, or somewhere else where it is visible. You see, pineapples represent hospitality, so it was a nice gesture of welcoming. Now, after a few weeks when the guest had officially worn out their welcome…
That pineapple was taken off the mantel, chopped up, and cooked into the soonest meal or snack there was.
After that…guests left pretty quickly.
I don’t think I need to say anymore
This is the one that makes me the most angry.
Let me just say one thing about this
My class, the same immature babies that laugh and giggle when they hear the word “sex”, just finished reading To Kill A Mockingbird. That book is a classic…but it also is a treasure trove of the racism of the 1930’s. We’re talking heavy use of the n-word, the false accusation and incarceration of a black man, and every other thing you can think of when you think of segregation. In my class, it is made up of about 65% white people, 30% blacks, 3% Hispanics, and 2% Asians.
And not a single racist joke or remark was made.
The south isn’t living in the 1930’s. And no place else should be either.
I have to put my white flag up here. The high school drop-out rate has been pretty high compared to the rest of the nation. *From 1990-1996, the percentages of people with less than a high school diploma were astounding in the south. The national average was 24.8%. A pretty good number, but certainly not as low as we’d hope. In my own Tennessee it was 32.9%. In Alabama it was 33.1%. In Kentucky it was 35.4%. In Mississippi it was 35.7%, which was the national high. The national low was in Alaska, with 13.4%. 13.4 < 24.8 < 35.7 *
However, a lot has changed in almost 30 years.
*During the 2016-2017 school year, Tennessee had its highest ever graduation rate at 89.1%.* That means that the rate of people who had either dropped out or been held back was 10.9%. That’s less than the lowest dropout rate in the country during the early 1990’s. *In Mississippi, which if you remember had the highest drop out rate in the nation, had a graduation rate of 83% last year.* That’s a 17% drop out or held back rating.
SO next time think that southerners aren’t educated, just remember that we are improving, day by day, year by year. There will become a day when we can proudly state that no, we ARE educated.
Ugh. It hurt just to write that title.
Now that statement that southerners love football isn’t entirely wrong. But it’s also not entirely true either. On one side, my friend’s dad has an entire room decorated with only Alabama gear. Literally. The man has Alabama curtains hung up. On the other hand, there are people like me who don’t even know how to properly throw a football, much less how the game works.
I will say this as a warning. If you go to the south and want to talk football with someone, don’t mention the NFL. Most football fans in the south don’t religiously watch NFL games. They watch SEC. I have no idea what the difference is, but apparently people take it very seriously.
No, everyone does not have a horse. Yes, I pass multiple horses on my way to school because I live in the section of my county that has more farms than subdivisions. No, I did not have the horse faze every girl seems to go through at the age of nine. Yes, I do know how to ride a horse because of summer camps.
Just sayin’
Let’s get another thing straight. Nobody regularly wears a cowboy hat, plaid button up, jeans, and cowboy boots. I would much rather wear a t-shirt and some comfortable sandals. Now, do I have cowboy boots? Yes. Why? Because there’s a place in Nashville that sells real leather boots at buy on get one free every. single. day. And they do come in handy sometimes.
So that was my list of 10 things that are mistaken about the south.
If you think I left anything out, have questions, or didn’t think some of the information was accurate…just comment and we’ll see what I can do.
Logging out,
The Logophile
dan boss via Compfight
*From here on are just the links to where I got my information for the “Uneducated Hicks” section, so if you’re not interested in that then you can exit out 🙂
All details about the US graduation rates from 1990-1996 was found here: https://nces.ed.gov/pubs98/98018.pdf
All details about the 2016-2017 Tennessee graduation rate was found here: https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/education/2017/09/14/tennessee-posts-highest-high-school-graduation-rate-record-state/663283001/
All details about the 2017-2018 Mississippi graduation rate was found here: https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/mississippi/articles/2018-02-15/mississippi-high-school-graduation-rate-continues-to-rise
